A New Beginning

Ok, it's a trite, over-used title. But, frankly, I love new beginnings. We get to experience them every time a new month rolls around, a new week, or even every morning as we open our eyes. I find comfort and peace knowing that God is the God of second chances (sometimes third, fourth, etc.), and that it's never too late to begin anew.

The past year has marked several new starts for me. I had my first surgery ever in July, got married (not a first but definitely new!), became a step-mom, went polka dancing, had my first disaster as a home-owner, joined a small group at church, and joined the gym. I'm sure there's more . . . life is full of new opportunities to experience life and love, and to pass it on.

Of the events listed above, the most significant to me is getting married and becoming a wife and step-mom. I've been studying a book called "Sacred Marriage" by Gary Thomas, and he describes how marriage, how our spouse serves as a mirror. We see ourselves more clearly than when we're single because someone is always watching us. For several years now I have embraced a transparent lifestyle, a life and daily existence that is clearly visible, strengths and weakensses alike. While I'm not 100% there, the process has taken a new turn since being married again. I am a writer so I enjoy my solitude, I look forward to being alone with my thoughts and developing them as I go about my life in the quietness of my home. But, now, someone is always there! Even if he's in a different room, there's something (both comforting and interestingly annoying) about someone else just being there that somehow short-circuits my solitudal thinking and processing. It's getting better...as I grow more accustomed the the noises and nuances of another around me, and it's actually better for me also. I can see where my singleness (that I came to truly embrace) had a selfish edge to it.

Being a step mom to two girls both in college has been a gift also. The girls, I think, are not too sure what to think or how to handle our relationship, and I sometimes feel the same way. I pray a lot about it. Their mom is obviously a significant influence in their lives, and I understand that I am only an addition to their lives, not a replacement of any kind. I want to be a loving addition, but sometimes it's hard to know how to do that. So, this is a "new" for me, building a relationship with two young adult women who have clearly captured the heart of their dad...how do I encourage their relationship to grow deeper and stronger and how do I build my relationship with them? Questions without immediate answers, but I"m working on it.

Clearly yours,
Cheryl